Love and trust

My best friend sent me an sms today, his sms said trust is greater than love and a lot more was added after that to prove the sentence right. I instantly agreed with that.

 

Trust is an necessary ingredient of lasting love. If you want a love to last, there should be a deep trust for the person you love.

 

If you cant trust a person, that love wont last for long, its funny, I always go by this. The friend of mine who sent it to me is one of those rare persons who instantly win trust. Even though we are net friends and have met only twice, yet since the first time I saw him an immense trust was formed, a deep faith which stayed ever since. He is one of those rare persons I can trust with my eyes closed.

 

Love is blind, wise people say that, that is why it needs the walking stick of trust. During all those yearning, quarrel, jealousy and possessiveness only trust can keep two young hearts together.

 

Matured age love usualy doesnot suffers these trials unless they are too passionate. After crossing the warmth of youth, people usually create relationship with trusted people, they first judge whether the person is trustworthy or not, then work toward the relationship. They know that time is too short to keep on experimenting with different types of people, they keep a few, very trusted persons close to their heart and love others unconditionally.

 

After earning wisdom people look for security and trust, they know that if we can trust a person, and feel secured with him, love will automatically burst forth like a fountain. Its just like the birdsong, the moment they feel the surity that sun is just below the horizon, the song bursts forth. Its just like the feeling of warmth that envelopes a cold traveller when he is turning the last turn to his home.

 

Whereas youth first creates relationships then tries to trust that person. As a result he suffers more than matured persons. Youth goes by the outer layering and tries to search the pearl inside that shell later. First he spends his time exploring the oyster, then only with time he ends up with or without the pearl.

 

One thing should always be kept in mind when pursuing any relationship. It can be the relationship with a mate, spouse or friend. That trust is the foundation of any and every true relationship. Its just like the soil, which holds the tree of our life together. Every thing else depends on it.

 

A weak grip of soil will bring down even the most strong and beautiful tree. It will uproot it at the first strong blow of wind. If the soil is poisoned it will poison the tree, in gist, the tree of love or life is fully dependent on soil of trust.

 

So, I think any one who is looking for lasting love, should first try to judge how much trust they have for each other, not passion or attraction.

Love and affection

I think these two are two different feelings altogether, their base may be the same but then like the branches of the same tree they grow up quite differently from each other.

 

In this piece I am using love as romantic love, usually I use love in its wide meaning.. it envelops all the forms of affection.  But here I am talking about the love of mates, spouses and lovers.

 

We become a little choosier when we are looking for a mate I believe, there are a lot of things which we can easily ignore in others but not in our mates.

 

For example a lot of persons will accept an extremely poor person in a lot of other relationships but a loved mate or spouse. That poverty can be of look, intelligence, wisdom or style. One person may accept poverty of intelligence in mate while it can be unacceptable to another, this measurement stick varies from person to person. Let’s just take the example of intelligence. A person may live happily with an unintelligent mother, son, friend or relative happily but may not accept an unintelligent person as a spouse or mate. May rather prefer living a bachelor life than committing to an unintelligent person.

 

I too belong to this category, there are lots of thing which I will happily accept in anyone else but my mate. What is the mystery behind this I wonder!

 

We can lay our affection on everyone but when it comes to love we become choosy. May be it is the animal side of us, which looks for the best mate possible.

Children not so lucky

Every alternate day we are served the story of brutality against children employed in various jobs despite child labour being banned in our country.

These tiny ones are sent out by their famillies because they don’t have much choice, but the famillies which take them in as workers or servants have a choice, even though they are doing illegal thing, but that sin can be rinsed by treating them with kindness and affection. And if possible educate them a little.

I have never been able to gauge these people, because I have been brought up in a family where we did not had any child servants, but the adults were always treated with respect.

I have only once appointed a child maid, then it was not illegal. That girl was always treated with gentleness, she was spared from heavy work even after repeated insistence from her mother. She did not walked out of Hindi movies, she was just like any child, greedy of glittery things, she used to drain cold drinks from refrigerator and replace it with water, gobble up any thing which lured her child tongue. Used to nag my mother to watch Govinda’s movies. My mother used to stick to discovery channel, and they both used to complain to us after our return from office. She used to fill up her squirrel box (of course without our knowledge) with my artificial jewelleries and music cassettes. She has been caught at the act too many times but did not changed her ways.

When dinner was served she used to get the first plate. When my mother used to hand out delicacies, she was the one who used to get maximum in number, because rest of us have lost interest in those goodies with age. That girl was nothing exceptional she also used to lie, steal and do mischief, but was always treated with this thing in mind that she had to leave her parents at an age when our children see darkness if their parents go somewhere for an evening. She became so attached to us that in the later stages she used to weep when her mother used to come to take her, and cried a lot to accompany us when we shifted to Calcutta.

Even though child labour has been banned, appointing a child as servant is illegal, still people who do it, they can atleast treat these children properly. Give them a little affection and gentleness, so that the things which their poverty has deprived them from, we being fellow human beings, give back to them a little. As human being, we can atleast show this much conscience, treat these helpless, shelterless small things with some love and tenderness.

Whenever I read these news, which I am really ashamed to say too often, my heart fills up with anguish, the stories of battering of children in the hands of their employers. Are these people human being or some thing else? Mostly these are family people, educated people, who have their own children, grand children they dote upon. Then how can they treat another child, who is so unfortunate that he/ she has to leave his parents at such tender age and move out to face the world on their own so cruelly?

People say that a woman is a natural mother, these mothers pamper their own children to no end, whereas a child, who is usually of the same age is beaten up for small mischief or faults. These persons usually get away with their inhumanity because we Indians are a strange community. We join rallies against child labours then appoint children as servants back at home, because they eat less, cost less and bear most tortures mutely.